Google wizards

Published: 5th February 2026

Read time: 1 min

Google wizard

Once upon a time when I had 0 clients I ranked my own website number 1 on Google for: "Fitness marketing agencies port melbourne" just as a proof of concept.

(I was living in that city at the time, so it made sense)

When I told them the incredibly short timeframe I had gotten there in they would always be amazed at this level of marketing sorcery.

One day I showed it to someone and he asked: "Wow, how do you do that!?"

So I explained that it was pretty straightforward.

This was a mistake.

Because a guy overheard me explaining it and started having a fullblown meltdown. I later found out he worked at some firm that did SEO for big companies, so this was apparently a touchy subject for him.

"No, that's wrong, that's not the way it works at all! You clearly don't know what you're talking about!"

Man went into fullblown attack mode. Foaming at the mouth level angry.

So I did the logical thing and I just showed him the fact I ranked for that particular keyword.

Unsurprisingly - this did not go over well.

He started rattling off keywords that his clients ranked for and the amount of 'backlinks' this took and his 'pagerank'.

Blablabla.

People that help you rank in Google are just really really relly invested into upholding this image of them being arcane wizards hunched over a magic orb that no one has access to.

It's mostly BS.

SEO (Search Engine Optimization) is mostly just logical thinking. It really is.

Logical thinking + elbow grease + time = better ranking.

Don't let anyone fool you into thinking his job is undoable for mere mortals. They're just BSing you 99% of the time.

- Brandon

P.S. If you'd like my team and I to check out your marketing and ranking and give you an honest take, get in touch here. Would happily help you out.